I knew I wanted to bring awareness to infant loss. I put together this idea in my mind where I would do a photoshoot that would showcase women in different parts of their journey who had experienced infant loss and then subsequently given birth to or was pregnant with their rainbow baby.
A rainbow baby is a baby that is born after the loss of an infant. These losses usually are miscarriages, stillbirths, or even young infants that pass away from complications, SIDS, etc. I wanted my moms to be able to share part of their stories during this session, so others could understand in the slightest, what they had lost and what they had gained. It is such a touchy subject. A family mourns the loss of the child but celebrates the following child. They have an angel to watch over them and their new infant. It is never easy to even begin to understand the devastation of losing a baby. Losing anyone dear to you is a very hard pill to swallow.
I personally have never had a miscarriage, but I infact, suffered from infertility and then secondary infertility. When I was hoping to get pregnant with my first child, I was devastated to find out that I couldn’t get pregnant and they diagnosed me with “unexplained infertility.” How hard is it to be told you can’t get pregnant and they aren’t sure why?! I had been prescribed fertility medications and also given a few different procedures. I did manage to finally get pregnant with my first born after many years. My second daughter was actually a complete surprise! I couldn’t believe that I was able to have a child without needing all the interventions. Fast forward many, many years and a new marriage. My husband and I both had children from previous relationships and we wanted nothing more than to share a child together. After 7 years of surgeries, procedures and medications, we found out that our only way to have a child was through IVF. That was such a difficult thing to hear. IVF is not a cheap thing to even attempt. After careful consideration, we took out a loan because this was something we both wanted more than anything. IVF is not an easy thing to go through. It is an intense roller coaster of emotions. We did manage to conceive and we have a set of 2 year old twins as a result. My experience is not the same as losing a child, but I do understand the feeling of wanting something so badly, and it not resulting how you imagine. The fight of trying to have a child, and watching my friends have 2, 3, and 4 children in the time I tried to get pregnant with my first. Infertility is another topic I would love to cover, but I do see a relation between it and infant loss.
Other couples that I know have experienced a loss of a baby due to being infertile. Even though it is not the same thing, it can sometimes go hand in hand. There is such a stigma on talking about these issues and I think it is so important to bring awareness to these types of topics. I believe that these babies who have been lost and those babies who have been conceived after, deserve recognition. For that reason, I created my project. I share with you my beautiful mama’s, the angels that watch over them, and their rainbows/ siblings that are here on Earth.